I don't know whether that is due to my obsession with how I think other people see me or whether I am overly critical with my writing.
I know some people don't edit what they say in the above mentioned mediums, this is evident when you look at the standard of English used. But believe it or not I check and edit most of what I post online.
Even my tweets are carefully edited to not cause offence and to avoid people thinking badly of me. Does anyone else suffer from this crippling writers embarrassment? I'd like to just write something, put it out in the wide world and not worry about what others will make of it.
Maybe this obsession comes from my years at high school and college when I suffered from dyslexia, which meant I struggled to write. I was diagnosed with dyslexia shortly before starting university, since then I have worked very hard to overcome the negative affects it may have had on my life and embrace the positive aspects. I'm still not 100% how to spell in English, you know often words aren't written how they sound. I have to memorise every word, so it isn't a case of spelling the word it is remembering it as a whole word.
Or maybe it is because I love me and I want you all to love me too... what a cock I sound.
You're not a cock sweetie, not that that's a bad thing to be eh?!!
ReplyDeleteYou're really lovely xxxxxx
Maybe it's also because you're really caring and sensitive!
I know what you mean though. I'm really afraid of saying what I really think and feel online and in real life now. But I went down the route of saying my mind all the time - being totally honest - and I ended up with a police caution, a broken marriage and home, etc etc etc (don't ask) although some of it was down to nit saying enough when it counted eg. simply telling people I loved and needed them (still find it hard eg. with you) so sensitivity about what we do and say is good as long as we say what matters?
Or what I try to do is follow my heart, speak the words my heart wants to say, trying to ignore the voice that says you shouldn't say this sort of thing to this person, you should write something more spiritually in tune, concise, structured paragraphically, without swear words etc. as long as what comes out isn't nasty and won't hurt anyone too much (mind you not always easy to achieve?)
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